If you have been feeling a little extra tension in your relationship lately, you are definitely not alone. It is a well known secret that couples break up before Valentines Day more often than almost any other time of the year. While February is supposed to be the month of love and candy hearts, it often turns into the season of the clean break. If you are currently scrolling through your feed wondering why everyone is suddenly single, let’s get into the real reasons why the pressure of the holiday sends so many relationships to the graveyard.

The main reason why couples break up before Valentines Day usually boils down to the pressure. When February 14th starts looming on the calendar, it forces people to take a long, hard look at where they actually stand. If you are not really feeling the person you are with, the idea of planning a romantic dinner, buying an expensive gift, or posting a “love of my life” tribute on Instagram feels totally fake. For many, breaking up on February 11th feels much more honest than faking a smile over a candlelit dinner on the 14th.

Let’s be real, Valentines Day can be expensive. Nobody wants to spend their hard earned money on a luxury gift for someone they aren’t planning on seeing by springtime. When couples break up before Valentines Day, it is often because one person realized they would rather save that coin for themselves. It sounds a bit harsh, but it is a very relatable form of self preservation. Beyond the money, the emotional energy required to celebrate a “perfect” romance is a lot to handle if the foundation is already shaky.

There is also something to be said about wanting to enter the next season of life without any extra baggage. If you have been unhappy since the New Year, the holiday serves as a final deadline. It is better to have a solo “Galentines” or a quiet night in with your dog than to stay in a situation that isn’t serving you. We have all been there, and while it might feel a little awkward to end things right before the day of love, it is usually for the best in the long run.

So if you find yourself back on the apps or just enjoying your own company this week, don’t sweat it. You are just part of a very common February tradition. Sometimes the best act of self love is knowing when to close a chapter so you can eventually find the real thing.